Wednesday, December 28, 2011

How To Procrastinate

       It’s an age-old question: to procrastinate or not to procrastinate. We like to tell ourselves that we are doing everything humanly possibleto stop ourselves from postponing our work, but if you examine the issue more closely, you’ll find that you are actually purposely putting off your work. I know you’re already starting to disagree with me, but you haven’t even let me start yet.
            Ever make a to-do list? Just looking at those things make you feel sorry for yourself. Why do you have so much to do anyways? Why you? There’s homework from each and every class, five tests next week, too many extracurricular activities to count, and not enough time to do it all. So, your solution is to give yourself a break. You’re way too stressed out lately. You nibble on a snack and turn on the TV. Before you know it, four hours have passed, and you’ve got to go to bed if you want to have any chance of waking up on time at all.
            Here’s another one. You make a list of “things not to do.” Do not go on Facebook. Do not go on YouTube. Do not play lame games on the Internet. Also, do not Google “how to stop procrastinating.” In fact, do not turn on the computer at all! And you’d think that this one would help you, until you actually try it. It’s surprising how many other ways there are to procrastinate. Do not take a nap. Do not study on the bed. Do not study in your bedroom. And then there are all the others. Do not eat. Do not turn on the TV. Do not leave your phone on. Do not stare off into space and daydream about that someone who might accidentallylook at you for once tomorrow at school. I know it’s not my place to interfere, but you know all those times when your eyes meet with his or hers for a brief yet meaningful moment, and you swear that the two of you are a match made in heaven, and you’re going to get married and live happily ever after? Yeah. That’s just in your head. Life is brutal. Get used to it.
            Now let’s get back on track. If you haven’t noticed yet, list-making doesn’t exactly help when you don’t follow through with your plans. Thinking and planning are good ways to approach problems, but they can also just be other means of procrastination hidden behind friendly masks. Now, if you started reading this article thinking that you would be able to get some handy advice, I hope you’ve realized by now that you aren’t getting any. The truth is that I am in no place to give you any advice. I have no right. I simply speak as a fellow sinner, a friend with a common problem. In fact, right this moment, I am procrastinating from doing my school work by writing this article about procrastinating. How ironic.
            Here’s my take on it. If it makes you feel any better, you can make as many “to-do-lists-that-you-will-not-complete” and “not-to-do-lists-that-you-will-disobey” as you want, but chances are that they won’t help much. Some say it’s better to start with the easiest assignment, and others say finishing off the task of doom is the best way to go. I say: start. It’s that simple. Most of the things we need to do are not actually as scary as they seem in our minds. The more we think about them and put them off, the more daunting they become.
            And also, I want you to remember that procrastination will always be a part of your life. It may be your archenemy, and you may hate its non-existent guts, but it’s never going to go away completely. Your job is to co-exist with it without letting it get the best of you.

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